1. Picnic Pants exist
That's right, picnic pants. Just in case pajama jeans, jeggings, snuggies, and dicktowels weren't enough in the world of interesting costume design, some crazy Italian company had to come along and create these. They are designed to make you look like Aladdin (pre-genie) when you stand up, and then they stretch nice and tight so that you can pop a plate on them and eat right there on the floor. Everyone needs a pair!
2. Everyone grows up and loves beer. Everyone.
Remember that adorable boy band Hansen? Those shaggy haired, probably Mormon, cuties who sang MmmBop, as well as an array of other hits (my personal favorite was "Lucy")? Well, they have grown up and moved on to much more important things than music. That's right, now they brew beer. And what do you think they named their extra hoppy IPA? That's right- it's called "MmmHop!" So. freaking. clever. Please reference the photo below if you don't believe me. Please also note that poor Isaac remained incredibly unfortunate looking for his entire life. I was hoping he would grow out of it:
3. This is incredibly disturbing- brought to you by my dear friend Marian:
This is a perfume of sorts. I wont scare you with an image, or even a description. I'll just give you a direct quote from the website:
" The comfortable roll-on applicator allows you to apply a tiny drop of the arousing liquid on the back of your hand and enjoy the erotic scent of a vagina."
You can click on that link at your own risk- just know that this is out there, and more disturbingly, there are sick pervy people in this world who are purchasing it and keeping this company in business. Also a bit disturbing- how did Marian find this?
4. I have always been upset with my parents for naming me Lee (obviously they were hoping for a boy), and I have been even more upset with my middle name (I'll never tellllll)- but then I see news stories about people who have truly bizarre, unfortunate names, I want to run all the way to Boston and give my parents a hug. This poor man was not only arrested, but ridiculed for his INSANELY RIDICULOUS NAME. I have to think that he legally changed it himself after a particularly good hit of acid, but what do I know? Maybe he was a failed abortion and his parents hated him from day 1. Either way sit back and behold his full name: Beezow Doo-Doo ZopittyBop-Bop-Bop. This obviously begs the question- what is his last name? Bop? Or is it Bop-Bop? I wish I knew.